Con artists masquerading as pastors


    When people like Ngang’a call themselves pastors, you definitely know that religion is under attack. These con artists masquerading as saints have mastered the art of public speaking. They can spit three sentences manage to convince a congregation of up to 5,000 people to “plant seeds” in order to be wealthy.

    To identify these self-proclaimed preachers, one just needs to attend one of their sermon services. They have trained their voices to speak heavily and hoarsely. This technique comes in handy when scaring stingy old women into giving offerings. For you to succeed in this business, you must add certain accolades to your rather flat name. Instead of being called, for instance, Karanja or Odongo…you must insist on words like Bishop, Overseer or Revealer. These preachers have always insisted on using glasses even when their eye sights are 100% normal. They also invest heavily in unique and colorful suits which are normally matched with sharp and elongated shoes that are brushed to death.

    They sometimes dare the devil himself through their well-scripted testimonies that are meant to portray them as almost superhuman! It is in one of Karanja’s sermons (not real name) that he told us how he was coarsed by a devil worshipper. He said that one day as they were walking with the lady in town, he miraculously found himself deep down, in the middle of the sea. Satan was drinking blood as he addressed funny looking creatures that he suspected were used to lure people into sin. Karanja went ahead to tell us that had it not been for the little bible that he usually carries everywhere he goes, he could have died.  Just when Satan was approaching, he flashed it out of his pocket and shouted: “shindwa” (meaning be defeated). He said that that was how he managed to be returned to the land of the living. He strategically finished his sermon by asking people to give more offerings to avoid being tempted by the devil. I still don’t understand the relation between his testimony and his insistence on giving.

    It was realized that stealing forcefully from people leads to hefty penalties and sometimes sudden death. Thus, the game had to change into smooth talking. Unfortunately, women have joined men in this business. It is easy to suspect men as compared to women. That is why, when these rogue preachers start a church, they immediately declare their wives as bishops or holy mothers with special gifts like speaking in tongues. When given an opportunity, these women will pray for 37 minutes. They sometimes speak in a language that no one understands. I don’t want to judge but, I always appreciate knowing that which someone is asking God on my behalf.

    It is only a few months since a famous journalist unearthed Victor Kanyari, the chief of all conmen in Nairobi. Since then, we have heard and seen heartbreaking stories of unsuspecting people who have been drained of all their savings from these so-called pastors.

    The latest social media uproar concerning pastor Ngang’a is one of the worst cases of injustice and corruption in Kenya. Apparently, this pastor’s range rover was involved in a road accident that resulted in the death of Mercy Njeri. He was let free. Rumour has it that money had to exchange hands for him to continue walking, eating and drinking as any other free Kenyan. Notwithstanding, the agony the family of Mercy Njeri has been subjected to in the quest for justice.

    Any good pastor should have come out by now and promised to work with the police for the justice of Mercy’s family. But, Ngang’a has chosen to continue preaching the word of God. What an inconsiderate man. It pains more to realize that he is a pastor!

    I urge Kenyans to be aware of Pastor Nganga’s range rover. When you see it, run away because if it hits you, you will simply die and no one will be held accountable. Be warned!


    Please enter your comment!
    Please enter your name here